


Just let the kid make a flamethrower

by spiderlingthememe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All things Christmas, Based off of that one episode in Brooklyn 99, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Shopping, Christmas shopping gone wrong, Flamethrower, Hostage Situations, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter just wants to make a flamethrower, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Robbery, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Walmart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22413511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderlingthememe/pseuds/spiderlingthememe
Summary: “Mr. Stark!”Tony turned from his desk to see Peter slide into the lab, almost slipping and slamming into one of the workbenches.“Whoa, careful kid. You don’t want to end up in medbay for Christmas,” Tony said. He chuckled as Peter ran towards him, grabbing his arm and hauling him away from his work.“Honestly, I think I would prefer that," Peter shrieked. “I forgot to get Mr. Rogers a gift.”Or: The one were they go to Walmart and get stuck in a hostage situation on Christmas Eve, and Peter just wants to make a flamethrower.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Everyone, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 319





	Just let the kid make a flamethrower

**Author's Note:**

> Content baby, content.
> 
> Big thank you, as always, to my bff Shannon for beta reading this and helping me make it even more ridiculous. She can be found on tumblr as @lazyfox411. She's super cool, and y'all should go follow her (and me @spiderling-the-meme ;)) 
> 
> And yes, I am well aware that it is a month past Christmas, and yes this was supposed to be up by Christmas but I am not capable of doing anything on time so enjoy :)

“Mr. Stark!” 

Tony turned from his desk to see Peter slide into the lab, almost slipping and slamming into one of the workbenches.

“Whoa, careful kid. You don’t want to end up in medbay for Christmas,” Tony said. He chuckled as Peter ran towards him, grabbing his arm and hauling him away from his work. 

“Honestly, I think I would prefer that," Peter shrieked. “I forgot to get Mr. Rogers a gift.” As they made their way out of the lab, Tony tugged his arm out of Peter’s grip, resting it over his shoulders instead. 

“Kid, pretty sure the old Capsicle would prefer you call him Steve, and also, I highly doubt he cares if you get him a gift.” They reached the top of the stairs, heading into the kitchen attached to the common room, ignoring Natasha, Bucky, Sam and Clint who were sprawled about on the couches, Natasha watching the other two argue over the remote, and Bucky quietly reading. Tony went to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water, throwing one to Peter. He caught it easily, opening the cap and downing it in one go.

“Mr. Stark, I can’t just _not_ get him a gift!” Peter dropped the empty bottle and ran his hands frantically through his curly hair. Tony rolled his eyes at the kid, moving past him to sit next to Natasha. 

“You forgot to get Steve a gift? Man, that's cold Parker,” Clint joked, switching the channel victoriously while Sam scowled at him with his arms crossed. Peter whined and sat on the arm of the couch, dropping back, his head landing on Tony’s thigh. Tony raked his fingers through Peter’s hair, glaring at Clint

“Thanks, birdbrain, now he’s even more worked up.”

“Why don’t you just order him something online?” Sam said. 

Peter shook his head. “It’ll take too long, Christmas is _tomorrow_.”

Natasha pulled her feet up to rest on the coffee table, grabbing Tony’s water bottle from his hand and took a drink, ignoring the indignant squawk. “There’s a Walmart on 88th, just go there and grab him some small 21st century trinket. He loves that stuff.” 

Peter jumped up, turning to Natasha with his hands clasped. “Please bring me? You know what he likes, please?” Clint and Sam snorted at Peter’s pleading look. 

“Nat, how can you possibly say no to that face?” Clint teased. Natasha sighed and stood up, twisting to look at Tony.

“He’s going to have to come with us, unless you're willing to let me borrow one of your cars?” 

Tony groaned, his head falling back against the couch. “Ugh, fine. Only because I am not letting you touch my cars.” Natasha smirked and Peter cheered, grabbing Tony’s hand and dragging him off of the couch and towards the elevator. “Garage, Fri. And don’t break anything you two!” Tony shouted to the others who began wrestling for the remote.

-

“No, no, no please! Wait!” Peter ran to the front doors of the Walmart, knocking on the glass to get the attention of the worker locking the doors. “Please! I just need to grab one thing!” The worker shook his head and walked off just as Natasha and Tony caught up to Peter. Peter groaned and kicked at the door, glaring at the other customers he could see still in the store. “They still have people in there, what the hell?” 

Tony knocked the back of Peter’s head, giving him a ‘watch your language’ look. Natasha smirked, ruffling Peter’s hair. “They lock the doors at closing time, but if you're still in there, you get an extra fifteen minutes until they kick you out.” 

Tony turned and squinted at her. “How do you know that?” Natasha just shrugged, the corner of her lips tilting up. Tony stared at her for a few seconds, then rolled his eyes and rested a hand on Peter’s vibrating shoulder. “Look, I’m Tony Stark, even Walmart can’t say no to me.”

“That’s exploitation.”

“It’s fine.” 

Tony knocked on the glass, getting a cashier’s attention. He smirked when he saw her gasp, smacking her coworkers arm and pointing at the door. Fairly quickly after that, there was a manager opening the door, the same flabbergasted look on his face as the girls standing by their registers.

“You’re Tony Stark.” 

Tony put on the persona he used for the public, smiling and nodding. “That I am. Any chance we can get into the store right quick? My uh..” Tony looked at Peter, his smiled cracking slightly. What was he supposed to say? His mentee? His _kid_? No, definitely not that one. “My… family friends’ kid needs to get a present for his… uncle.” Cause that makes sense and isn’t at all suspicious. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Natasha smirk and Peter mouth ‘ _Uncle?_ ’, but Tony kept his smile trained on the manager. 

He nodded aggressively, holding the door open so the three could enter the store. “Of course! Sir, take as much time as you need, it’s no rush at all!” Tony thanked the man as they walked into the store, nudging Natasha with his elbow.

“Fifteen minutes my ass.”

“Hey. Don’t swear in front of the baby.”

“Oh come on!”

-

Tony scrunched his nose up as he picked at the sleeve of an oversized onesie. This was why he never shopped at Walmart. Everything was cheaply made, cheap _in general_ and Tony doesn’t even want to know what the smell by the bathroom was. This was why he made Friday; so he’d never have to leave the tower. 

“Peter, did you find something for our resident grandpa yet? All the single-digit price tags are making me feel woozy.” 

“Yup! I think Mr. Rogers will love it.” Peter came around the corner holding up a plastic bag containing his purchase. Tony grabbed the bag and pulled out an extra large, ugly Christmas sweater. There was a crude picture of a reindeer with glowing lights on the antlers, and bold writing on the bottom of the shirt read ‘ _get lit_ ’. “Ms. Romanov helped me pick it out.”

“This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.” Tony looked wide-eyed at the sweater, shaking his head, but stopped when he saw Peter’s downcast eyes. Tony sighed but smiled. “He’ll love it, kid.” 

Peter lit up more than the sweater. 

“I think Steve will find it very ‘endeering’” Natasha smirked at Peter’s shocked expression.

“Black Widow just made a joke.” 

Tony snorted. 

The sound of something shattering cut through their conversation. Looking over Peter’s shoulder, Tony watched as a man in a ski mask dragged the manager they spoke to earlier off towards the warehouse doors. He could hear the man telling the manager to keep walking, shoving him harder than necessary. 

“Shit, the store is being robbed.” Tony grabbed Peter and shoved the kid behind him, tucking himself behind a clothing rack as Natasha moved on the other side of Peter so he was boxed in. The three watched as more masked men dragged the cashiers and a few customers in the same direction as the first one. 

“There’s gotta be a back exit, come on,” Natasha said, tugging on the sleeve of Peter’s jacket. They turned and walked along the edge of the store, looking for an exit sign. Peter tapped Tony on the shoulder, pointing up where he saw the nearest sign. They made their way towards it, but stopped when they saw a robber placing a bike lock around the door handle. 

“They’re sealing the exits. This isn’t just a robbery, this is a hostage situation,” Natasha hissed. Tony leaned back, hidden behind a pole by the wall. 

_Shit._

-

Tony pulled Peter down to the floor with him, rubbing his shoulder to calm him. Tony could tell the kid was freaking out a little. It was one thing to stop robberies and hostage situations in the suit, it was another to be _in_ a robbery/hostage situation with no gear, and nothing to defend yourself with.

Tony was a little freaked out too.

They had made their way over to the pharmacy desk, tucking themselves behind the high counters, and counting on Peter’s enhanced hearing to alert them if there was any danger coming near them. 

Peter jumped a little by his side, his head jerking up as he heard something, calming significantly when he recognized the soft footsteps to be Natasha. A few seconds later, said spy slipped into their hiding spot. 

“Count of seven men, guards by every door, all cameras damaged, and from what I’ve seen, nothing has been stolen yet,” Natasha stated. Tony frowned.

“They haven’t stolen anything?” Peter whispered. “Why are they here then? What’s the point of all this if they don’t even want any money?”

“I don’t know, but that’s good. Means we can narrow down their motive for holding hostages. Maybe they’re looking for someone.” Natasha nodded, digging into her pockets, coming up with nothing but a lighter and her phone. She frowned. “I don’t have any of my weapons on me, do you two?”

“No, Mr. Stark confiscated my web shooters until after Christmas,” Peter pouted.

Tony checked his pockets as well, only finding his phone and keys. “Nope. Didn’t think we’d need to save someone with it being Christmas Eve and all.” Tony stuck his keys back into his pocket, and turned his phone on. “I don’t have time for this,” he muttered, “Let the lesson be learned, this is why I have attack drones on speed dial.” 

Peter inhaled sharply and grabbed Tony’s arm. “Wait, Mr. Stark. If you send a drone in, guns blazing, we could be putting the hostages they have at risk.” Tony glanced at Peter, seeing the concern he held for the people taken hostage, and took a moment to just be so damn _proud_ of his kid.

Sighing, Tony pulled up his contacts instead. “Point taken. But we still need a plan.” Seeing Peter’s downcast eyes, Tony tapped his chin gently with a smile. “Don’t worry kid,” then addressing Nat, “let’s try calling the team. At least if someone is on the outside, then we’ll have backup if needed.” Natasha nodded, going to tuck the lighter back in her pocket, but Peter grabbed it from her hand. 

“We don’t need our weapons, we can improvise! We just need a can of hairspray, make some flamethrowers, we can fry these bastards.”

“Peter, you are no longer allowed to hang out with Clint.” Tony plucked the lighter from the kid’s hands, ignoring his pout and tucking it in his pocket. “And no one is frying anyone. We just need to keep a cool head and make a plan.” Tony dialled Steve’s number, the ringing deafening in the quiet of the locked down store. 

“ _Hello?_ ” 

“Steve, oh thank God,” Tony exhaled in relief. “Nat, Peter and I are stuck in the middle of a hostage situation at Walmart.”

There was a sound on the other end of the line, like Steve was standing up from his chair. “ _Since when do you go-_ “

“That’s not the point Steve!” Tony hissed. “There are seven armed men who have taken the workers and customers hostage in the warehouse. They haven’t found us yet, but we don’t have any of our gear.” Tony could hear Steve relay the information to who he assumed were the other Avengers. 

“ _Wait, Tony did you call the police yet?_ ” Tony blinked, then grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

“Er, well, no I didn’t. I did not do that.” Tony heard Steve curse and grumble over the line at Bucky to call the police, Peter snickering next to him and Nat smirked.

“ _Alright, we’re on our way, and police should be there soon as well. Stay hidden, and don’t try to be the hero this time._ ” 

“Pfft, tell that to the kid sitting next to me who wants to make flame throwers,” Tony chuckled, expecting to hear Peter huff in annoyance, only the kid wasn’t there anymore. “Shit, Nat where’s Peter!?” Natasha looked up from where she was on her phone, presumably trying to get more help on the outside. Tony could see the slight panic in her eyes. 

Tony stood and looked over the counter, sputtering in anger as he watched Peter tiptoe his way back to their hiding spot, holding two cans of hairspray. “Are you kidding me? Peter!” Tony whisper-shouted. 

At least Peter had the gall to look guilty. He had almost made it back to the desk but froze. A second later, two masked men with guns came from either side of him, blocking his exits.

“Well, look at this, we got Stark’s kid. Put him with the others.” Panicking, Peter dropped the cans, trying to run back to Tony, but the men grabbed him around the waist, pinning his arms down so he couldn’t move. Tony could see Peter was about to flip the man over him but stopped when he noticed Tony frantically shaking his head. 

‘ _Don’t do it. Don’t use your powers_.’

Peter nodded discreetly, his eyes darting wildly in fear and Tony’s heart broke. He wanted nothing more than to run out and grab the kid, fight those men off and get them out of this situation. But that could risk Peter’s safety. Right now they weren’t hurting the hostages, but how long until they changed their minds? 

Tony was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Steve yelling through the phone, “ _Tony! What is happening? Is Peter okay? Tony - Answer, damnit!_ ’ 

“They got Peter. They’re bringing him to where the others are, and they know he knows me personally,” Tony rushed out. “You can’t just barge into here, Rogers. That could put Pete’s life in danger.” Tony’s breathing was picking up.

“ _Tony, stay calm, we’re already on our way, and the police should already be on the scene. Just, stay hidden. We’ll save you both and Peter, but we can’t have you running in and trying to get him out. That could get you both killed._ ” 

Tony huffed and turned back around to sit, breathing deeply to try and stay calm. This was not happening. His stupid kid did not just get himself stuck in the middle of a hostage situation for _hairspray_. “Just, hurry up. Please.” 

_“We’re already on our way, twenty minutes tops.”_ With that, the line went dead and Tony dropped his phone. 

“Damnit kid, why do you have to be so endearingly _stupid_.” Tony huffed, his hands moving up to tug on his hair. Grabbing Tony’s wrist, Natasha pulled his hand away from his head. 

“Hey, he’s gonna be fine,” she said. “While we wait for Cap to get here, we are going to do what we can, and take out who we can. Got it? Don’t freak out on me.” Tony nodded, taking a deep breath and steeling himself. Standing up, and grabbing one of the cans Peter dropped that had rolled over to the counter, he looked down at Natasha. 

“Let’s kick some ass.”

-

Taking out the four guards on the floor was so laughably easy, Tony had to actually hold in his snark. Clearly none of these guys knew that taking Peter meant dealing with Iron Man and Black Widow. 

Creeping up to the warehouse doors, Tony put his ear against it, just barely making out the sound of Peter mouthing off to the bad guys, only to hear a muffled smack. Tony bristled, getting ready to bust down the door, but stopped at Natasha’s hand holding him back by the shoulder. 

“Hey. We need to wait for Steve before we engage.” Tony shrugged her hand off him.

“That asshole _hit_ my kid Nat, “ Tony snarled, “anymore waiting and I-“ They were cut of by the doors being jerked open. Tony watched Natasha jump behind a shelf, leaving him alone wide in the open. 

The guard’s eyebrows rose for a second, only for a manic grin to fall into place. “Hey boys, we finally got our prize.” Tony squinted. 

“Wait, your _prize_? What-?” Tony’s arm was roughly grabbed and he was manhandled further into the back of the warehouse. “Hey! Let go- this jacket is more expensive than you!” Tony was thrown forward, stumbling to stay on his feet quickly becoming a losing battle as he tripped over someone's legs. 

“Mr. Stark!” Tony looked up, relief flooding his system. 

“Peter, oh thank god.” Peter was sitting up against the wall, his wrists zip-tied together, and the beginnings of a bruise forming under his right eye. Tony sat up quickly, grabbing his shoulders, his eyes shifting rapidly as he tried to take in all of the kid. “Are you okay? Did they- goddamnit Pete, hairspray? _Really_?” Peter reached up with his bound wrists, holding onto Tony, frantically tugging on his jacket. 

“Mr. Stark, why didn’t you stay hidden? They want you-“ 

“Shut it, kid.” Peter flinched at the name, not used to it being used in such a cold manner. Tony glared up at the men, his hands gripping Peter’s shoulders tightly. 

“Hey, back off buddy. What do you want?” Tony growled, “You’re obviously not here for the money so what gives?” 

A smile slowly spread over the guards face. “Oh, we aren’t here for the store’s money,” he leaned in close to Tony’s face, his smile wide enough to show teeth, “we’re here for yours.” The man leaned further down to sneer in Peter’s face, giving his hair a quick ruffle. Tony swatted his hand off of his kid, pulling Peter back towards him by the shoulders. “Robbing a billionaire will set us for life.”

“Boss, transport’s here," the guard that was standing outside of the warehouse door came in and announced. The man now identified as the Boss backed up and snapped his fingers. 

“Get him in the van. Oh, and don’t forget the kid.” Two armed men grabbed Tony’s arms, and another one jerked Peter to stand. 

“Woah, wait. The kid has nothing to do with this!” Peter struggled to control his strength as he tried to shove the man off. “Hey! Leave him alone! I thought you only wanted _my_ money?” Boss man turned back with a smirk. 

“The kid’s leverage, to make sure you behave.” 

Tony moved to protest, but saw Peter freeze out of the corner of his eye. Peter’s eyes flicked from Tony, the door ahead, and the rafters above. Tony glanced up and saw a silhouette of a person and smirked. Boss man’s eyebrows furrowed and he glared at Tony. 

“What are you smiling about?” 

Tony shrugged indifferently. “I keep telling people, you should really learn to not mess with the Avengers, but no one ever listens to little old me.” Tony nudged his elbow into one the guys’ ribs that was holding him, “Also, Avengers movie nights have given everyone a more dramatic flair.” 

As if on cue, Nat jumped down from the rafters, landing on Boss man’s shoulders and bringing him down to the floor easily. The warehouse doors burst open, and Steve ran in with his shield, closely followed by the other Avengers. A circle of police men were surrounding the exit, guns up and ready.

The guards were taken out easily, and all of the hostages were released, hugging and shaking hands with the Avengers in their gratitude, then walking out and meeting the police men and women who were getting statements. Natasha walked up to Tony and Peter as the latter pulled apart his wrists, snapping the zip tie off. 

“You should really listen to me more often.” Natasha smirked, jabbing Tony in the shoulder with a fist. Tony groaned and rubbed his arm.

“Whatever, nice to see that someone _finally_ showed up.” Tony spoke loudly so the others could hear from the other side of the room. Clint flipped him off as he was hugging one of the cashiers who had jumped him in gratitude. Peter snickered as they watched Clint try to gently pull the woman off of him. 

Tony looked down at Peter who was rubbing his wrists where there was a thin red line from the zip tie being pulled taut. He ruffled his kids hair and pulled him into his side tightly. Peter smiled and wrapped his arm around him in return, turning his head and stuffing his nose into Tony’s jacket. 

“Come on, Kid. Let’s go home.”

-

“Do you like it?” 

Peter was shuffling his feet in place as he stared at Steve holding up his new sweater. He rubbed his hands together, biting his lip anxiously. 

Steve started to chuckle, it growing into a boisterous laugh as he shook his head and rested the sweater on his lap. “I love it Pete! Thank you.” Peter smiled brightly, jumping around Steve’s other gifts and hugging him around the shoulders. Steve laughed and brought his hands up to rest on the kids arms, squeezing lightly. 

“Alright, spider-kid. Your turn!” Laughing, Peter let go of Steve and ran back to his spot in between Tony and Natasha. Grabbing the package Natasha held out to him, he began unwrapping the box and ripped it open. 

Peter pulled out a half used can of hairspray from the box with raised eyebrows. “Um… thanks? I guess?” 

Nat laughed and pointed to the box, “There’s more.”

Skeptically, Peter pulled out some more tissue paper only to reveal a simple, red lighter. Peter gasped with a smile, jerking his head up to grin at Natasha. “Flamethrower?” Natasha nodded and Peter whooped, shoving the box off of his lap and moving to pull off the lid of the hairspray bottle. Tony jerked forward with wide eyes, yanking the bottle from his hands

“Nope! Not doing that!” 

“Aww, come on Mr. Stark!” 

**Author's Note:**

> didya like it? didya like it? 
> 
> As always, leave a comment, let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, and follow me on my tumblr! @spiderling-the-meme
> 
> Leave me an ask, send me a prompt, interact with me. please. I a lonely bean.


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